My name is Elizabeth and I am 44 years old. I arrived in Northern Ontario approximately two years ago. Having had problems with alcohol since my twenties it seemed that every relationship was abusive in one way or another. The last two years prior to my arrival in the North Bay area my life spun out of control. I had left a 16 year abusive relationship and started another where I left off. This time, I was introduced to cocaine and prescription drugs. The abuse was the worst it had ever been and I believed there was no way out. I really believed at the time that I deserved the emotional, physical and sexual abuse because of my alcoholism and drug addictions. Fearing for my life I finally left. At that time I made a conscious decision to live, I didn’t want to die. In the past, I could not imagine ever going to a women’s shelter but it was the only place for me to go at that point.

Arriving there all I had was a duffle bag and a garbage bag . I felt empty and full of despair and felt bad about leaving, questioning whether I had made the right decision, I did. With the help received from counsellors at the shelter, I was given the tools and information that was pertinent to my recovery and the start of new way and life for me. This is how I found my way to True Self / Debwewendizwin Employment and Training. Since that time I have learned that I do have self worth and that I do have something of value to offer society and myself. Truly, I believed that I played a part in the abuse but I’ve learned through the workshops that were offered at True Self that nobody deserves to be treated that way. This program has given me confidence, strength and courage. To date I’ve been clean and sober since my arrival and with the support of the True Self staff I am registered for a Welder Fitter course at the local college to start in the fall. I have been living in the community on my own for a couple of months now and have recently been employed as a welder’s helper.

I read a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt and this is what she said "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face….You must do the thing you cannot do." That is what the True Self program has done for me and many other women in the same situation.

Before coming to True Self, I was haunted by past abuse and I was very angry at myself for 'letting it happen'. In effect, I was stuck in this place of anger, fear and self-blame. I had not moved forward.

When the coordinator suggested that it (the services of True Self) might be part of my healing circle, I felt a little spark within me. I knew what she said was the truth.

So I came. I learned about the cycle of domestic violence; I learned about myself and in doing so, I learned compassion and understanding. Then I left the self-blame and anger behind.

From there I began to look at the other women in my group differently too. I moved from the isolation of "I" to the unity of "we".

As a group, we began to work on self-esteem and motivation and gained an understanding of the link between the two. We laughed together and helped one another realize our strengths. Then we began to contemplate the transferable skills we had in regards to employment possibilities. We prepared cover letters, resumes and practiced interviews. Our employment counsellor worked and continues to work to assess our individual training needs. My main barrier to employment is computer training and I am currently being enrolled in a fully paid computer course that will result in me being proficient in office skills. Meanwhile, we know we can come to True Self staff whenever we need them and that means a great deal to us.

I can say that my confidence level is higher than it has ever been in my adult life. I feel better about re-entering the work force. My relationships with my son is better that is has ever been. He is a teenager and when he says "Mom, I will be forever grateful to all the people who have helped you be here and their kindness to you". Well, need I say more?

To Whom It May Concern:

There was a big lack for abused women to have support in the employment field. I know this because I was one of these women. As an abused woman, I came to a place in my life where a job was desired. I tried different employment agencies, but they are not equipped to help someone damaged and lost. The existing employment programs are failing in this area because their strategies leave an abused woman feeling more inadequate, ashamed, and feeling unable to contribute to society.

In an abusive relationship women loose their identity. They no longer know who they are or what they have to offer an employer. Abused women need tools to help them regain confidence and help them find their abilities. "True Self" is such a program designed to work with abused women to find their abilities and gain the confidence needed to step out into the world of employment and be successful.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. It is my hope that "True Self" remains available to the many women who will benefit greatly from its program and all it has to offer.

Dear Donna;

Thank-you for your kindness, your guidance & following your heart to make others see what they can do for themselves and be strong in their abilities to overcome their adversity.

Thanks again for your friendship.
Brenda

A little gift thank you for your wonderful program and warm heart. I may not be there in person during grad but I’ll be thinking about everyone.

Hugs to each one of the staff of True Self & creator bless.

TRUE WOMEN

I met some women yesterday
Their stories sad but true
And as I listened, I felt their pain
Yet their courage was shining through

And as I sat there listening
My tears began to flow
For they had taught ME the lessons
Of Courage and of Hope

I met some women just last week
Their laughter fills the air
They taught me the lessons
Of Happiness and Prayer

I met some other women too
Their load I could not bare
They taught me Forgiveness
Compassion and to Care

And every woman I have met
Has given me a clue
To all the lessons I must learn
Before my journeys through.

Lois Page

I Have A Secret

Yes I have a secret
That I would like to share
It’s about a place downtown
Where women really care.

You can go there anytime
And be greeted with a smile
And if you need a helping hand
They’ll sit with you a while.

They’re women just like you & me
Who decided to take a stand
On violence against woman
And help us make a plan.

Promoting New Beginnings
And prosperous futures too
I know that "TRUE SELF" really works
'cause I'm standing here with you.

So help me keep it open
It’s not just for me and you
It’s for our daughters and their kids
So they will make it too.

Dear Donna,

This Letter is just to express how grateful I am for True Self and the programs they have offered me. To be able to work and study with women who have been abused such as myself is beyond description in its ability to make me feel comfortable and supported in my ability to learn and find optimal employment for myself. Thank you again and I hope you can continue to provide your incredible service

Yours Sincerely,

Louise N.

Dear Donna,

When the program was suggested to me by my worker at Ontario Works Michelle, I needed a lifeline. I had been under doctor’s care for stress for almost three years and had just been denied disability benefits. Thoughts of suicide were creeping back into my mind and I felt like giving up. I had no strength to fight for my disability and felt I had nothing to lose.

It was difficult for me to make the effort to leave the house let alone attend class but once there I was able to interact with other with other women and feel alive and most importantly like I was contributing, I can honestly say True Self saved my life!

Both my family and Doctor John Seguin and my Psychiatrist Dr. Eamon O’Toole noticed the difference and at their request you provided them with information about the program. Dr. Seguin noted he knew several people he would like to refer.

I was a person who disliked leaving the house, preferring to sleep away my days and avoid the slightest stress. Like most women who have suffered abuse I felt worthless and withdrawn.

Many of my friends, including my best friend, a nurse at the Psychiatric hospital, noted the positive changes in me. My anxiety levels plummeted and I became more society active.

North Bay has wonderful services for women. I attended group counselling at the Community Counselling Centre for grief and also for battered women. However one the number of sessions was complete I felt abandoned and alone. Your doors were never closed to me and you promised future activity.

When you offered “Transitions” I was overwhelmed as you are aware I have Seasonal Effective Disorder and suffer from Depression and anxiety. Five days a week was daunting in a classroom setting. Because of my previous experience with True Self I joined. It is a super opportunity. All of us agree our self-esteem has increased markedly. Some will go forward with their education. Others like myself will not be so tentative about returning to the workforce. In any case we have developed friendships and self-esteem that will last a lifetime!

I was born and raised in Toronto. North Bay can be proud such a program exists. Some of us may not complete the course for whatever reason – we may not be emotionally ready. But if one woman escapes from the cycle of poverty and abuse because of your program, you have succeeded.

I hope the powers that be do not look at those who fail with disdain, because every one of us has gained immensely. I know this first group will help True Self mould the program to the needs of its participants and I like to think we have all contributed something worthwhile.

It would be shameful if our politicians who fought so hard to fight domestic abuse abandoned us to a future of poverty and took away any hope of escaping the cycle. So many of us have been out of the workforce for so long and need the encouragement and counselling you provide.

Should you not receive your funding, I for one will remember at the polls.

Best of Luck!

Heather C.

To whom it may concern,

My name is Cindy E. and I am currently participating in the True Self Employment and Training program. I became a participant of the program in January of 2007, after being informed of its existence. I’d been a recipient of Ontario Works for approximately four years, and had I not been given the opportunity to participate in the program, I would still be in need of assistance. Not only has the True Self program given me confidence, it has helped me to change the way I think about myself as a human being. I have been made to realize that I am “worth it” and it is almost like I have been given a second lease on life. I am grateful for that.

This program has afforded me the opportunity to receive a post secondary education in Practical Nursing by paying tuition and textbook fees, along with any other expenses that are incurred when receiving a post secondary education. This is something I would not have been able to accomplish on my own by any other means. I am not a candidate to obtain financial aid through OSAP or any other means due to situational circumstances.

I would like to add that the opportunity given to me by True self is not one that I will ever take for granted. I am currently maintaining a 3.8 GPA and plan on graduating from the program with nothing less than that. A year ago I would not have had the confidence in myself to be able to maintain such grades. I attribute a lot of that to the individuals at True Self, who understood what I was going through and had the belief in me that I didn’t have in myself. The workshops helped me to, in a sense, overcome my situation and move on with my life. The person I am today is not the person I was a year ago and I will be forever grateful for that.

Sincerely,

Cindy E.

New Horizons

To new horizons, we longed for, we reach & strive for
With caring help we've stepped through another door
We move onward to another phase, another plan
With kindness & generosity they held out a hand
Encouragement & guidance gave us clearer vision to see
Even though there had been trials, we could soar and be free
At times some of us felt alone, but no longer, no chains around
our heart
We had the courage, we took the step, and True Self was our
start
We now are testing our new wings, and learning we can really
dream again
Enjoying the thrill to choose our own path, the women at True Self
our guide, our friend

Jackie C

Hi Donna,

First, I want to thank you so much for the experience of this weekend. I learned so much about myself, and about the different things that I need to work on. I seems so funny, when I was paired up with this organization, I had all these great ideas about how I could act as a mentor for these women, because ‘I had made it” after all, I was in university and got out of a bad relationship. I don’t think I could have been more wrong!!!!! I learned so much from everyone, and I know I made some friendships that will carry on for a long time. Your organization and the women in it are amazing, the strength that I saw these women was phenomenal, and I believe that is due in large part to what you have offered them.

I am hopefully meeting with Danette this week to go over the lifeline so I can have a little more insight into what these women went through in their journeys, and I will also be attending the Thursday workshop ( I wish there were more of them!!!!).

Thanks again, Donna
I know this experience really changed my life!

Talk to you soon,
Shannon

My Testimonial

It has been a very positive experience to attend the True Self Employment and Training Service. I feel I have grown emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually because of this enrolment. When I first attended this program I very nervous and hard very low self-esteem.

As the weeks pasted by I realized I was beginning to trust others as well as myself. I felt the staff and counsellors showed compassion and professionalism. This is truly a place to be if you are wanting to make a change in your life and getting closer to a dream you actually choose for yourself. I am very grateful and would like to say thank you to all the people involved with True Self for offering such a great service to our community.

I hope they will continue help many other women who are in need of such an important services.

Yours Truly
Dianne

Dear True Self

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you and your staff for everything you have offered my family in the past year and a half. The support you have offered has changed my life forever, beginning with the programs run by your facility in house and followed by the financial support I received from your organization to complete my education.

I became aware of True Self while I was staying at the Nipissing Transition House. It was a difficult and confusing time for not only myself, but also for my children. With my youngest being only three weeks old at the time I went to stay at the Transition House, I thought my future was bleak and had no hope. This all changed because of the opportunities made available through your organization. It all began with the counselling and information programming that was designed to help women such as myself break the cycle of abuse and oppression. The information offered and the support I received was instrumental in achieving the confidence and self-efficacy I needed to continue on with my education, and my life, after such a criminal offence was taken upon myself and my children. Because of the abuse we suffered I was unable to finish my education not only financially but also spiritually. Because of True Self this has now all changed. I became stronger with each session I attended and began to believe in myself again and my ability to not only survive my experiences but to also over come them and be able to take care of my family and bring our lives to a healthier place where we can all grow and be happy.

Financially, I had nothing. I had come so far on my own and then had all resources taken away by my abuser. I had no option to finish my final year of my education and thought I would never be able to afford to. I had no option to finish my final year of my education and thought I would never be able to afford to. True Self changed all this for me as well. Not only was I given the strength I needed to believe in myself but my tuition for the last year of my studies was covered as well. I can’t begin to express to you my gratitude for this gift.

Now because of, and only because of, the support and funding I received from True Self I have experienced my dream and am a certified Teacher. In the fall I hope to supply teach with the Near North School Board, and eventually work my way up to becoming a full time Teacher. With my experiences and new found strength, I can not only provide a better future for my children and myself, but I can also help to shape the future for my children and myself, but I can also help to shape the future by touching the lives of the children I will teach. I have been given the tools to stop the cycle of abuse in my life and more importantly I can now help prevent the cycle of abuse in society by passing along the strength I have given to True Self.

With sincere gratitude,
Stacey

Donna & Staff

Thank you for providing all the support systems in place at your location on McIntyre St.

I’m looking forward to your next series in Tools for change especially regarding safety, Self Esteem skills and more.

Also look forward to childcare while we are in our workshops. My son is 8 and will not return to school till September. Thanks again ever so much for the concern and professionalism you organization has offered to us.

Many thanks,
Shelley & Desi

Hello Donna,

Just wanted to wish, all you wonderful women at True-Self a wonderful holiday time.... I was not able to drop by to personally extend my wishes, so thank god for email..... It is shaping up to be a busy year so far for me, and I am sure I will find some time to connect with you all in the New Year....you have all made a big difference in my life....so thank you for all the support .....I am very grateful for the gift of being involved with True-Self, and all of you wonderful, talented women.....again, have a peaceful and joyful holiday....you and all your relations. A very grateful client....and volunteer.... Namaste....with metta.....Janie Ann

 

North Bay & District Multicultural Centre
Our mandate is to provide immigrant support services to residents from Mattawa to west Nipissing and Temagami to Parry Sound. We offer a volunteer mentoring program where city and district residents are matched with newcomers to help them adjust to life in Canada. www.nbdmc.ca ·

• Immigrant Settlement and Adaptation Program
• Host program
• Language Classes
• Volunteer opportunities
• Interpretation
• Translation
• Resource
• International Business

Note from Multicultural Centre to True Self:

Donna,

A big thank you for taking time to conduct a safety audit at our centre. I sincerely appreciate your knowledge, expertise, and willingness to share. Working together to make our workplaces and our community a better and safer place for women is so crucial. The work you do is so valuable and I appreciate it!

Thank you Ann

Thank you so much for all your support and guidance this past year! I truly appreciate everything you have done for me and helped me with!! Best wishes for 2009!

Erin